Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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