5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
