Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
