Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
