All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
