4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
