so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
