There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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