He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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