batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
