Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Buhtt sex?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
