Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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