Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
