Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Four minutes until I can fart!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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