Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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