"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
