two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
