I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
