I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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