why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
