Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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