is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
