remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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