so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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