the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
