Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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