We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Pants 0. Shit 1.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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