Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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