Dual....:-)
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
