She went from zero to smokin in five shots
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
