A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Found your dick twin last night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
