apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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