my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
