So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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