So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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