How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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