SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
