Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
