i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I deserve this hangover.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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