Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
