If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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