just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
