Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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