Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
