My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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