It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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