what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
