Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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