I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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