so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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