I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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